Roller Coaster

My class met at a restaurant yesterday as sort of a Holiday celebration and as a celebration of such a wonderful group of graduate students. We were allowed to order alcoholic drinks so I did. I ordered their cheapest house margarita and guess what! I got ID'd. Not that big of a deal if your in your 20's but once you hit the big 30, that is a big deal. Trust me. It made my day.

What is up with this age thing? I was at a group supervision with some Psych students earlier today when one brought up the topic of cultural assimilation. She then asked me when did I move to the US. So I told her I moved to the US in 2000. And she made a comment that totally cracked me up. Here: "I wonder how it was for you to move to the US as a teenager!?" I stared at her and replied: "I moved here six years ago. I am 30 now so I was 24 then." And she was shocked. So were the other interns and our clinical supervisor. They all said I look so young for my age. Ooooooh, wasn't that music to my ears!!!!!

So yeah, I've been feeling good about this and the successfull, awesome, glitch-free powerpoint I made for class. One of my classmates actually said I could totally put together a module for a Powerpoint Training. I incorporated all the video clips etc. that we needed and what can I say, it turned out really good. So now I am bragging. :D

But yeah, life's a roller coaster. I am happy and next thing I know I'm almost on the red. Oh the life of a student. A... I... I don't know. I really don't know what to say. I am this close <--> to being broke. No, I've never been this broke my whole life. At least in the past, when I get this close to being flat broke, I knew I was getting a paycheck the next day or the coming week. But this time, there is no paycheck to expect, no lottery winnings, no trust fund. Nothing. Zilch. Absolutely nothing.

Am I freaked out? Of course I am!!!! Do I have a plan???? No, not really. I've been planning to turn in my application for a job at the General Hospital but I'm not really sure how that would play out with my internship schedule and once my classes start for Spring, it might get all fucked up. So no, I really don't know.

So this is Christmas. There's always a first right? So this is it for me. My first flat broke Christmas. And no, it doesn't feel good at all.

Thankful

• I am thankful for public universities that made graduate studies possible for me.
• For a library system that acquires books when they are not available on the shelf.
• For a laptop borrowing program in school where I can take em out for 4 hours within the school to do my powerpoint presentation in class.
• For desktop computers in the library and for writely.com so I don't have to bring with me a CD or flash drive every time I work on my paper.
• For the rain that makes the grass glisten when the sun comes out.
• And the cool, crisp November air that gets me excited for Christmas.
• Thankful for professors who inspire me to be the best that I can be
• And thankful for my professors who challenge me with their unrealistic expectations - they are actually bringing out the best in me.
• For flickr friends who amuse, teach and inspire me to take better photos.
• I am thankful for a childhood friend who has been and will always be the sister I never had.
• For a friend who knows me inside out and yet accepts me for who I am and who I am becoming.
• For classmates who became my friends - because they understand the way I feel, and the tough times I am going through because of school and its demands, intellectually, financially and even emotionally.
• And a family that will always be a haven when I need love and acceptance.
• I am thankful for all the lessons learned, wounds healed and memories. They made me into who I am today.
• And I am thankful for Luna, the best cat in the whole world. She warms my feet when I sleep at night and kisses me good morning as I wake up.
• I am grateful for this wonderful life - no matter how bleak it looks sometimes, I am thankful for everyday reminders that it is a wonderful life - birds chirping, fog rolling in, a squirrel scurrying into the bushes, creamy chocolate ice cream and a slice of homemade tiramisu
• I am thankful for everything that makes this life a wonderful one.